Yes, we’re in 2022, and I am actually starting a blog…
“Whatever it is, what I do daily serves one purpose: make me happy and joyfull”
It actually was while explaining to my 11 years old the evolution of the internet that it hit me: I miss writing, I miss blogging, I miss reading blog posts, I miss the growing feeling of adding day after day thoughts and ideas on something that won’t need headphones to be listened to when you’re having a cozy moment, or doesn’t take also ages to pour down unlike editing a video.
Menez Mikael in the distance, Botmeur, Menez Are, August 2022
I still write a lot. Maybe not enough still… But I write a few lines at least or, when I get the thrill, all 3 pages of my Morning Pages (from the best book ever for creatives, The Artist Way, I know you know it, but get back to it, there’s always some new layer to discover about your creative journey, trust me on that one). I journal when I need clarity, ideas and to process feelings.
I don’t know how it can be in 2022, back in the days, 2002 for me, I had a few of them. About knitting, about magic, about megaliths, about experimenting creating soap (yep!). And I met actual people thanks to them. Some I’m still in touch with.
Menez Mikael in the distance, Botmeur, Menez Are, November 2021
But that was then, and then, means there were no Social Media. It felt cozy, it felt unique, it felt precious to maintain that little space of yours, with your own take, your own personality. It was easy to follow new articles - blog posts! - from people I enjoyed reading from. So easy. It was a precious space to share, to envision, to exchange, without completely exposing yourself, you could still use an alias, and way before hashtags were a thing, eventually, slowly, you would notice some folks following you back too. Commenting.
I can’t pretend there were no expectations. There were some. Of course, like in any human interaction. But were not that obvious. And also the timescale was different. Creatives were still called artists and not “content creators”.
I can’t pretend I wasn’t all excited about the rise of social media, either. I’m an Aquarius after all, always looking for the next trend :) I loved Instagram because I could so easily share my pictures. I loved Facebook because it was even easier to follow people who inspired me, easier and more friendly than RSS flux. Remember, at the time it was in order? Remember, links would show for people to click on? Remember, YouTube video would appear in the feed? It was amazing, it was a new world in which it was possible to exchange, to connect with people, to keep in touch with people that would otherwise not be interested in reading your blog. Yep. Keep in touch with people that are not interested.
St Jean du Doigt, July 2022
And then, we all know how it went.
I haven’t used Instagram for 3 years! You know why? Because it doesn’t bring me any joy. I’m a painter, but yet, I can’t get myself to publish my pictures. Because I know I’ll be looking at the numbers. Because I know I’ll be comparing myself with other artists, that have a bigger audience, AKA more likes & comments. That’s why I also chose to pay for this website, to have my own space, free of advertisement, free of likes, just my art, the finished pieces I want to share with the world, and a blog section that I could possibly start.
When I edited this video, I was thinking about having more time to express myself in video. But as I write my scripts, I realise they both go hand in hand. Writing and sharing in images.
“Is it still a new start if I’m looking back? ”
The answer is: I don’t know. I don’t know how it will go. I don’t know if I’ll keep documenting and writing without actual readers. Likewise, I don’t know if it won’t be even some more extra pressure for me, the pressure of writing “just in case”.
Because, expectations are there, of course. Expectations that something would eventually happen. That I would find my tribe. That I would feel less lonely. That it would make my life as an artist far easier. And that it would validate me as an artist. Maybe validate me as a human? Does it run that deep?
Validation, seeking for attention to validate who we are inside, to validate the choices we make, to confirm that we actually have a right to be there. To just exist.
If this blog’s only purpose would be to replace some of my addiction to social media and numbers, then I suppose that would already be an achievement.
Plougras, July 2022
But now that I start thinking about it, it might be a sacred space too! All I hold on while I’m posting on Facebook: be short, get to the point, give hints but be mysterious, all what we are supposed to be and become because of the algorithm! i know I’m loosing my way of creating in a deeper, more profound way. Because I try to fit in. Fit in what? I’m not even sure! But I know I’m trying to cut down parts of me to look simpler, no matter how many times I pretend I’m being authentic.
Are you even ever completely authentic? That would imply knowing fully who you truly are, and it seems that it’s totally going against trying to please the algorithm, init? Being constantly bombarded by expectations, by other’s projections and dreams, I’m not sure that I still know how to get to myself that easily. I pretend I meditate. Sometimes I find that small space of stillness within. But in many cases, I know it’s just a small break before the constant flow of information hits me again.
I’ve been longing for a social media detox for a while, I’m considering it - seriously !